And They Called Me Amie

To my Father in Heaven

Posted on: June 18, 2009

I was born twenty five years after he was born. My Dad, according to my Mom, had never been so happy before until I came to existence. I was their first born, their first bundle of joy and brought to them so much happiness. I was his inspiration to work doubly hard and everything he planned was for my future. As far as I can recall when I was still a bubbly little girl, he used to bring me “pasalubong” everytime he went home from work. He was a perfect father for me, he showed to me all his affections. He was my first mentor and taught me a lot of things, playing and strumming the guitar is one of the unforgettable. In return, I also showered him with lots of love and respect and set myself a role model for my younger siblings. When I was in elementary, modesty aside, I was always on top of our class and my father, who’s very proud of me, used to tell his “compadres”(friends), “manang mana yang anak ko sken, hehe”. With all those complimentary remarks coming from his mouth, I eventually grew up with self-worth and developed more a sense of confidence. I grew up idolizing him, everything turned out well and materialized according to his plan for me. I’m not selfish but I knew I was his favourite among his children. I had this complacent belief that nothing unpleasant could ever come upon us.
But even if we were happy and contented with the simple joys we have in our life, he felt that there was an urgent necessity to augment the family income because we were growing up. Then he decided to go to a faraway place to look for greener pastures. Yes, he succeeded and our family lived comfortably and enjoyed the material things that we could afford to have. Amidst the fact that he had to live apart from us, it’s a sacrifice and that’s the price we have to pay.
However, no one is perfect, no situation is perfect and then something went wrong. I was in my high school years when we discovered that he (like any other human being) is vulnerable to temptation. We found out that he had an affair with “other woman” in that far away place. And I could say that it was the gloomiest day of my life, I felt that the world trembled upon me and torn apart. All my idolization for him was replaced by so much hatred and every dream shattered. It’s a good thing that I’m not rebellious by nature, shortly afterwards that incident, I began picking up the broken pieces of my life. Although it brought a tremendous effect in my young mind, I knew that life must go on and promise myself to move on with my younger siblings to protect from harm and to take good care of and my mother who needed compassion. In fairness to my father, he did not abandon us and he never forgot his obligations to us being a good provider as he was used to be. He did not leave us literally but we grew emotionally apart.
My Mom, being a martyr type, did not give up and continuously prayed and put all her faith to the Lord and ask that everything would turn back to normal because she believed that at the end of the day my Dad would still find his way back home. And God is indeed so Great, he listened to all our prayers and my father finally realized his mistakes and asked for forgiveness from God and from us. I forgot all the grudges I kept holding on for years because he went home a sick man and it broke my heart. By that time, I was already married and was busy with my new family and career so I did not have much time spent with him anymore.. I knew that he wanted to make up for the lost time even if he was sick. On my part, I still want to bring back the good old times, but it was now different. How I wished I could turn back the hands of time and fix everything that went wrong. How I wished I could return to be that bubbly little girl always clinging to my father. How I wished I could give him all the comfort that he needed.
I felt the guilt and had the biggest regret in my life when one day my greatest fear came. My father had finally joined the Creator 36 years after I was born. I can’t even recount if the half of those years of my life with him in this world was spent meaningfully. I was full of tears knowing that we didn’t had the chance to be bonded again with each other during his latter days. But I cannot say that I took him for granted but the call of my career in order to support him financially was the one given priority. But the great consolation was that he died with a clean heart because he finally received the gift of God, he became a born again Christian by faith even though he was not baptized and immersed in the water. And for that reason I am pretty sure that he is now in heaven.
I just want to share this to all the daughters and sons out there to grab every opportunity to show their love and respect to their fathers even if they have share of their shortcomings before it’s too late. Don’t be shy to express your feelings of appreciation and gratitude. We have only one biological father in this world and they deserved to be loved and shown affection……
And to all the fathers in this world whose ultimate dream is to build a secure and good future for your children I salute all of you. May you continuously be blessed and guided by the Lord almighty.
To my father, whom I believe is in heaven right now who watches me every now and then, I want to thank you for bringing me into this world and for making me a good person as I am today. Without you I will never be here…. We may never spent much time together, but I will always cherish the quality times we had shared ever since I was a little girl. I may never had the chance to say it to you when you were still alive but I want you to know that I love you very much and you will always be remembered as a perfect father for me. Happy father’s day to you.

To all Fathers ==Happy Father’s Day

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